Sunday, September 25, 2005

The Beginning

As kids we used to swap hair raising tales we overheard from our folks. When we retold the tales to the eager peers, we tended to exaggerate the stories just to get their undivided attention, the scarier the better. No one seemed to know why we were so gravitated to these stories. We were receptive, and, in our innocence, ready to believe in anything that we heard. Then when we hit our teenage years, it was cool to dismiss all these tales as the work of over imaginative minds ascribed to the uneducated and superstitious people who had nothing better to do than to go around the neighbourhood spreading the unfounded rumours. We were “scientific” and “intellectual”, anything that had no supporting evidence warranted contempt, and to be ridiculed. But were we all really that cool? I wonder. At least I was not as whole heartedly dismissive as some of my peers, but then again I was not going to analyse my belief in a deep and meaningful way – I had more mundane things to worry about – exams, basketball games, and, yes, pimples.

Our priorities and needs keep changing as we move on in life. As an adult we adjust ourselves to our work, to the family life or partnership, and as we grow old, we adjust to being sick, to the absence of loved ones and friends who passed on, and ultimately to the thought of death of ourselves. Sometimes we make our adjustment in an ad hoc fashion to suit ourselves at the time, regardless of what the adjustment may mean in the BIG picture of our life, and whether the step we take to make the change is in harmony with what we really need. Despite our efforts, we frequently feel that there is something missing in the arrangement. It’s as if there is a little voice inside us saying that this is not right. Yet, sometimes all our adjustments just fall into place where they should be and it seems so effortless to achieve the results that we desire. Why is there such a difference in the outcomes? Could it be because sometimes we heed the whisper of this little voice inside us before we set out to make the change and, in doing so, achieve the outcome that we want? Why is there a little voice inside us that nags on and on when not all is well? Who is this little voice inside us anyway?

Forty years on I find myself looking inward to find some meaning in my life. As I reflect on the events in the past, I wonder if there is a thread somewhere that strings all these events together to make a coherent whole. Or am I too obtuse to notice, or even to remember, the significance of some of these events? I would not be entirely surprised if this is the case. I have been so dazzled by my perceptual reality that I have missed seeing the messages in it completely, you know, being “scientific” and “intellectual” all these times. Not that I did not experience anything out of ordinary, it’s just that I had not given them much thought after, let alone looking for the underlying meaning in each of them. We live in a natural sequence of a life cycle within a linear time span and in a space that we can perceptually define. It is therefore logical to assume that nature has its physical orders that we can explain scientifically. If follows that anything that is not tangible does not, therefore, exist.

But what if there is something inside us that we should live by irrespective of our personal circumstances? What if this “something” is our very soul residing in us that whispers to us each time we are in the cross road of change and in need of guidance? What if our true mission in life is not what our intellectual mind telling us what it should be? Do we really know what our true mission in life is? Are we here for a reason? What if we are really not what we are?

What if some of the tales I heard as a kid weren’t rumours afterall?

I am not here to convince you what I believe in and what I know it to be. You will find your own answers to your own questions someday when you are at the most receptive moment of your life. We often miss the beat in the rhythm of life by being “scientific” and “intellectual”. We need to let go and accept some of our experiences and beliefs without requiring any “logical explanation” for them. I can live with my conviction this way. Can you?

1 Comments:

Blogger Lin said...

This is so profound. Yes, I would also like to think that everything happens for a reason, down to who we meet or bump into in our lives. There is a message. We just need to look for it, using our instinct, our 6th sense. Ah, but that's very Celestine Prophecy, isn't it?

9/27/2005 6:11 PM  

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